Hilarious/ Horrifying Interview Stories

I'd just like to share a few amusing stories I got from a Linked-In group, Recruitment Consultants & Staffing Professionals. (Please join that group, very insightful and very helpful, especially if you're in the recruitment business.

Anyway, the stories are quite funny so I suggest you go ahead and join that group. But if you don't have a Linked-In Account, here are a few of the "horror" stories:

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I've worked in recruitment for a long, long time and have seen some funny ones. I think one that sticks in the memory was the foreign chap who'd been coached by his friend on what to say in the hope that we wouldn't realise that he couldn't speak any English.

The conversation went something like:
 

Consultant: Hi - How can I help you
 

Applicant:  I'm looking for a job.
 

Consultant:  Ok - where abouts do you live?

A: I live in Portsmouth

C: What sort of work are you looking for?

A: Want Job

C: I see - what sort of work have you done before?

A: Job

C: Any particular sort of job?

A: Job. (nodding)

C: How long have you been in the UK?

A: Job

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The oddest one that I have had in my many years was a gentleman that was interviewing for a financial IT job. There was a very limited pool of candidates but after weeks of searching, I found this gentleman with the right skills. I had him into my office to interview prior to submitting him to the client. He sat down and immediately his arms went out at a 90 degree angle (like an airplane) and stayed that way for most of the interview (once in a while he would reset). He was everything that the client wanted, what to do? Sufficed to say, I called the client and explained the unique nature of this candidate and the client agreed to interview. He did the same thing at the client interview. He got the job, but they put him in a small office instead of a cubicle for a little more privacy. 

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A good candidate was interviewed by two client executives.
After the interview he told me he had let me down because the interview went really badly; he had a tough time staying focused on answering the interview questions.
When pressed as to why he told me that about five minutes into the interview one of the interviewers leaned back in his chair and fell asleep. He spent the rest of the interview worrying about how he could wake up one (sleeping) interviewer while staying focused on answering questions from the other (awake) interviewer.
He didn't get the job. We recruitment consultants have to keep our sense of humour. 

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(this one is really horrifying..good thing she had the presence of mind to use her recruitment skills..)

I had an horror interview with a beggar...He simply had entered my office, the security didn't see anything, as they were focused in other issues, therefore I had to deal with a very choleric 2 meters tall and strong beggar that was shouting to me: "I'm gonna burn your office down, I'm gonna kill you right now if you do not hire me!" and he was all over my desk, so that I had to push my chair back to the wall, while calling security. Security was busy talking on the phone, so I said:"Ok, Adina, now is the moment for you to survive or ... to die!". I was at the beginning of my HR career, so I had to use my entire human communication skills in order to make the candidate calm down. I do not remember what I have said, there was a long discussion between us, while my eyes were looking for some knives he promissed to use, and my mouth was saiyng words he wanted to hear, such as: "you are a good person", "you are a wise person", "it is very good tha you are looking for a job and want to work", "here are not many people that really want to work these days sch you are", ect. In he end, he start to listen and finally my words went directly into his heart. Still, he wanted to make sure that I AM afraid of him, so he left the office, shouting: "I'm going to burn this company down".
Security came later and found me pale, but happy to be alive. 

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This is not an "interview" horror story, but a direct quote posted by someone looking for a job:

"I have absolutely no ethical boundaries and am willing to do anything. I don't believe in god, so that opens up a lot of possibilities right there. Need someone to put down adorable puppies? I'm your man. Want to break up with your significant other but can't find the guts? I will do that for you too. . ."  

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Many years ago I used to work in 'New Deal', the UK jobcentre's answer to the chronic unemployable. After more than three years of unemployment, jobseekers move to 'New Deal'.

I once interviewed a jobseeker who informed me that he was taking 9 ml of methadone every day.

Another jobseeker wanted to know if we offered any training for her to become an actress.  

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Not an interview horror story but pretty good. I got this email from my consultant whom after several weeks of work disappeared and didn't answer phone calls or emails:

Sorry I have disappeared on ya, but it's for my own safety. I have been receiving threats from various levels of the local police dept. due to an argument my roommate and I got into. He has a friend who is a cop so I am being bullied into disappearing. I am unable to get any of my belongings from my apartmet; and if I return, I will be arrested or "worse". I am completely homeless with only what I have on my back. I have basically run away to a city where nobody can find me and am hiding out until it clears, if ever. I was so excited to be working with *client*, and pictured myself with them for a long time to come. 1 week later I am basically a drifter looking over his shoulder. I did work 32 hours last week, but am still unable to sign in and enter it. Anything you can do to help me get paid would be enormously appreciated. I'm sorry about all of this, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for some corrupt cops to handle business their way. I will get an address for you to mail the check to as soon as I can. I am not using my phone in case they are searching for me. 

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I had a candidate interviewed by a restaurant chain. When they asked him what counties he had lived in prior to doing a criminal background check, Bill told them they wouldn't find any record of him as Bill, but if they checked Nancy(same last name) that he/she would get a clean report. It seemed Nancy has decided she was a man trapped in a woman's body, and changed her gender. 

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I bet there are a lot of anecdotes about the recruitment industry, what are yours?  :)